Parenting and raising sexually healthy children is challenging at the best of times. What do you do when you find out your child is gay? Even if you've suspected your child might be homosexual, knowing for sure can be a shock. Your feelings will likely be intense and confusing. You might not be able to speak to or about your child without feeling sad or angry for quite sometime. Every family is different and every parent-child relationship is unique.
So you think your child is gay, lesbian, bi and/or trans?
And while, today, I do feel all of those things for both of my gay sons, I still feel deep shame about how I acted toward them when they first came out. In those dreams, I had a tow-headed, blue-eyed, loving grandson just like Luke. I had it all planned out. My dreams died a sudden, violent death on that muggy June afternoon. Suddenly I found myself steeped in shame, denial and anger. I even began to beg God to change him.
Many parents struggle to adjust after learning child is gay, study finds
Is she in trouble? I love you. While Feintuch considers herself an accepting person, she still faced some immediate stress and shock when her child came out to her. A new study conducted by researchers at George Washington University found that most parents of lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth have difficulty adjusting after their kids come out. The study says it is one of the first to systematically examine the experience of parents raising lesbian, gay and bisexual children.
Try not to make assumptions and let them come and tell you in their own time. One thing you can do is give them the information they need to make good decisions. You can contact Stonewall's Information Service for pointers. One of the hardest things for LGBT people to face is rejection from their friends and family.