We're going to go ahead and assume that you're here because you want to know the joys of making love to a male member of the species who is much, much older than you. It's cool though, availability isn't really an issue when all he can think about is getting balls-deep with you in his wife's bed and anyway, this is a judgement-free zone — if it's good enough for Frida Kahlo, Megan Stammers , Courtney Stodden and my high-school friend Bubu, it's good enough for anybody. Plus it's important to remember at all times that those bitches ain't got nothing on you. As far as we're concerned, the only thing that stands between your heart and his dick moles is a bit of professional styling. Since you're most likely at an age where you can hardly support yourself, let alone afford to hire a stylist, we came up with this handy sartorial guide to help you rub up against that big bag of excess skin, nuclear family fall-out, 10CC records and RealManMoney in no time. Trust us: Just like your crush's peen, we've got experience.
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I find it genuinely bizarre that having sex with a man 20 years older than you is still taboo. During dinner with a friend recently, she asked me, with one eyebrow raised, what I think the main difference is between sleeping with older men versus younger men. Their grimaces are the giveaway. If a guy has grey hair on his head, is it a surprise if he has grey hair downstairs? And better that than if he'd been dying them. The only real difference is that older men are normally a little heavier around the gut — you can't be expected to have 20 years' more eating experience without it showing. I went on a date with a guy my age 29 — graphic designer — cute — stupid name.
Once you get to high school, a whole new world of possibilities opens up for you. Nope, you can leave those immature losers behind for a sophisticated older guy. And believe me this is tempting. High school guys love the first day of school because a new crop of freshmen are roaming the halls. But dating an older guy also brought up much more grown up issues.
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